I was back at work in the gym starting on the seventh. I never really felt any worse than that third day, I just wanted to be considerate of others health. I think I noticed myself getting tired a little more easily, but that’s mostly gone. I couldn’t push myself in the martial arts as hard as I think I should but had taken a break for almost two weeks before getting back into it. After my upper and lower split, I decided to do a 36 hour fast and run Mt. Tabor. I’ve done this in the past and push myself to keep at a good pace as much as possible and keep breaks to a minimum. I had to slow down to breathe eight times. This more than doubled the breaks I took and I had to extend a couple for a few seconds. I also noticed the DOMS of my barrel-legged walk all the way from that Saturday until Monday.

I fasted for a couple of reasons. I don’t think I need to lose weight, but it is something that I recommend to clients who are interested in weight loss [1]. I wanted to make my transition into a fasting state easier, so I ate a salad, eggs, and fish sticks the night before to move my body into ketosis [2]. In general, I don’t eat as many carbs, and almost all of it I prepare myself (I like fried rice and challah). So, I did experience some rumbles and cravings, but no pain or anything like that.

One reason wanted to fast is simple: to see what it’s like.  If I recommend something to others, I need to have been able to follow the program myself. I haven’t done a fast longer than an intermittent before. I understood that there were some benefits to human growth hormone [3] and ketone production as well [4]. At hour twenty getting the drive and energy to simply go out, play guitar, and talk to a couple of people was difficult by itself. I opened the fridge just to stare for a few seconds before closing it a couple of times.

In this state I did not want to run out of electrolytes and micro-nutrients [5]. There were some supplements I stopped so that I wouldn’t feel sick since I took them without food. I stopped taking my zinc and my nootropics. However, I still took my multivitamin, a vitamin d and k complex, and got the rest of everything from what I drank.

About a third of what I drank was water. Outside of that I had started adding Alpha Pack to my stack this week. My electrolytes and micronutrients were supplemented by Noonbrew Superfood Iced Tea, Pre:Step1, Intra, MudWtr, Fire Cider, tea, and some "snake juice". The last three solutions I concocted myself, and I can get you a hefty discount if you use my referral link in the navigation bar above for the products from Prestige Labs. From these drinks I got all my b-vitamins, potassium, adaptogens, and antioxidants.

When I had just finished the run and all my drinks but the water, I felt fairly focused, sore, and a pull toward the grass-fed steaks I saved for the end of the fast. I want to make the transition out of this state smooth by eating fats and avoid losing muscle with protein. A fast is difficult, and you can get many of the same benefits by cutting carbs out as much as possible [6] or reducing to just one or two meals in a window of less than 8 hours daily [7]. In fact, an intermittent fast is more effective in some ways [8].

[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25540982/
[2] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25402637/
[3] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19240267/
[4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28599043/
[5] siimland.com/everything-about-getting-enough-electrolytes-while-fasting/
[6] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/keto-fat-fast
[7] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32060194/
[8] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34135111/

I tested positive for covid at 10:15 on the 28th of March 2022. I had been around a couple of people (mostly vaccinated) who were coughing. All of them that I spoke to were confident it wasn’t covid, but I wanted to be safe. I’m not sure which variant this is, so I’m avoiding the numeric identifier, and will do so for the rest of this missive. I had been getting tested regularly and had 45 negative tests up until that point. I had been wearing masks when out and about inside stores but was also doing a couple of other things. Recently I doubled the mushroom mix I get which has anti-bacterial, antiviral, and anti-inflammatory qualities, among others.[1]. The claim is that things like lion’s mane, ashwagandha, and reishi are adaptogens [2] that provide everything from an empowered immune system to a reduction in stress. I also stopped taking my Multi-Vitamin. My diet isn’t exceptionally balanced when it comes to all the micronutrients such as zinc, vitamin k, or perhaps b vitamins, and they get into your body very effectively though this patented process of molecular dissociation. So perhaps that had something to do with it. I also had reduced my Chiron’s paste [3] from the biweekly dosage that I read in a study almost a year ago. I took it immediately upon seeing the test, and took some asthma medicine [4], and took the rest of my nighttime vitamins (l-tryptophan, zinc {5], vitamin d [6], vitamin k [7], and some dried apples [8]).

The morning after the at home covid test got two dashes, I didn’t feel all that bad. The symptoms seemed to have subsided somewhat. I still had the headache and have worn a fuzzy fleece bathrobe my mother made that is faintly reminiscent of the Navajo almost throughout my illness. It is quite cozy. I also had some NoonBrew. Having tried both, I can say that it is a terrible idea to overdo the serving on their Superfood Iced Tea, but MUD can be overdosed slightly and still taste reasonable (especially in milk). I mixed some Fire Cider with water too. One must do this to drink any reasonable amount because the drink is apple cider vinegar based – not chemically. I’m going to use my inhaler a few times today. I haven’t used it in years because after having used progressive overload to target my cardiovascular system for a couple of decades, I’m almost entirely asymptomatic. I vaped a little while home and took some CBD drops [9]. CTFO’s contain both CBDa and CBGa, depending on the product. I’m also taking glutathione in my CELLUVie® [10], although I had changed from the Extreme Shake I had been taking Extreme Shake for a month or so before switching back to CelluVie. I occasionally cycle through them. The headache has been the worst part of covid for me.

I’d been getting into prepping a little bit recently. I have enough canned food to hold me for a month or so, if I limit myself. I had been trying to gain weight and used this as an opportunity to figure out what things I like and would enjoy more of, and what I have too much of. I discovered that sardines are my favorite, and my local supermarket brand of soup is very salty. I must buy myself a dehydrator. I love my dried apples too much. I think I have enough for the year, but I do put them in everything from chia pudding to challah to scones. I suppose I can also use this break as an opportunity to budget for school, my car repair, and a ticket. The total comes to $3000. I’ll have to put it on a credit card, since I’m struggling to get any aid from the school.
​
On the evening of the second day, I find that the brain fog is real [11], although there are other things that could contribute to that. I took my asthma meds a couple of times today, not that I was coughing or having trouble breathing. My resting heart rate is 68 bpm. I’ve had lower, but that’s not unreasonable for me. I’m getting a little more vitamin K from some carrots and taking a gel vitamin d without the vitamin k supplement, along with Test Storm (I started, and I noticed results from just one morning and night), zinc (I’m doubling up now) [12], L-tryptophan [13], CTFO Super7 [14], and some melatonin [15] just before I go to bed.

Part of my desire for prepping bleeds contributed to my mindset returning me to martial arts. I’m quite full of joy, and almost wish I chose to pursue that more in high school. But I was given a choice by my parents, and only now do I have a black belt in sight. Our lineage in Krav Maga is through Sensei Chris Hampton, before him Master Aaron Hensley, and before him Grandmaster Chuck Norris. I previously studied Kajukenbo Tum-Pai under Sifu Mark Moy and before him Grandmaster Doug Bailey and Grandmaster Heuer, and Tae Kwon Do and Pai Lum White Dragon Kung Fu under Sifu Joan Davis and before her Sifu Daniel Pai.

I find that Krav Maga has given me new and effective techniques for grappling, chained combos, and throws, among other things. The weapons training and quite fun as well, and my roundhouse kick needs more work that we’ve already started improving on. We also just did our belt test. It was cute to see the Littles break their board. One teen got a little discouraged. He did get his new belt but he hoped to jump in rank. This happens rarely but did this belt test. This young man did quite well though. It is rare to jump in rank, and one would need a strong reason to do so.

On the third morning I was reminded of how important instant communication has with the technology we have. I wonder what sort of impact that might have on our personality from the Wild West. I always imagine that if one’s spending every night at a campfire herding cattle or carrying letters the days may blend and time slow. And even that was a far faster means of communication that that which we have today. I guess cowboys were on my mind because I’ve been playing guitar, eating beans, and drinking a mix of Fire Cider with Noonbrew’s Superfood Iced Tea. It’s quite tasty. I think that will be one of my usual drinks into the future. After all, who wouldn’t want antioxidants [16], nootropics [17], neurotrophic qualities [18], anti-cancer properties [19], and stress reduction [20] all in one drink? I’m also drinking my CelluVie [21].

This afternoon I will be doing some Pilates through Zoom. It’s part of my continuing education for personal training. It’s ironic how he developed it for people trapped in their place of habitation on the Isle of Man and had a severely reduced death rate for the Spanish Influenza. Regardless, I still don’t feel very bad at all. Even the headache has mostly subsided. I’m amazed I don’t have a cough of any kind. But I suppose that’s to be expected when my risk according to an Oxford calculator is .0003%.

Some people might wonder why I chose this way of generating immunity. I see the many breakthrough infections [22], and conclude that it does not have a correlation with a reduced spread of the virus [23]. This is no surprise due to the injection using the original spike protein, not having been able to keep up with the changes with the new mutations [24]. This provides an evolutionary pressure for strains like Omicron and Delta to become dominant [25]. Whereas natural immunity appears to be more broad and more durable [26], and thus substantially more effective [27]. Not only that, but my demographic is such that the risk from the virus is a minuscule percentage of a percentage [28] and helps create an evolutionary pressure that endangers my parents and my business partner. The degree by which the criminal company Pfizer to even release these documents [29] for decades also infuriated me [30]. Further, I was concerned about the increased risk of various complications of the injection [31], including some that were tied to the spike protein [32] or the nanolipids of the shot [33]. Now ADE is being called inevitable from the vaccine. [34] Regardless, I’m grateful to have some food stocked up.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3909570/
[2] https://www.webmd.com/balance/adaptogens-what-to-know
[3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8248252/
[4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8040526/
[5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7997276/
[6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7465887/
[7] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/vitamin-d-and-vitamin-k
[8] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25050823/
[9]https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-01-12/cannabis-compounds-prevented-covid-infection-in-laboratory-study
[10] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32463221/
[11] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34672377/
[12] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32319538/
[13] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6764927/
[14] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32471251/
[15] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34304092/
[16] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28427291/
[17] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26361721/
[18] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24266378/
[19] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29141563/
[20] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31517876/
[21] https://www.europeanreview.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2802-2807.pdf
[22] https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.10.13.21264966v1
[23] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8481107/
[24] https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.12.20.21267966v2
[26] https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.08.24.21262415v1.full.pdf
[27] https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/968553
[28] https://www.clevelandfed.org/newsroom-and-events/publications/cfed-district-data-briefs/cfddb-20220323-age-adjusted-covid-19-mortality-rates-by-demographic-groups.aspx
[29] https://www.bmj.com/content/375/bmj.n2635
[30] https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/wait-what-fda-wants-55-years-process-foia-request-over-vaccine-data-2021-11-18/
[31] https://informedchoicewa.org/news/fda-slide-16-table-2-everything-being-reported-to-vaers/ [31] https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.12.23.21268276v1.full.pdf
[32] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8820157/
[33] https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.03.04.430128v2
[34] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8438590/

When I was in college, I was vegetarian for about a year and a half. It was inexpensive, and I knew that rice and beans made a complete protein [1], so I wasn’t super concerned. I did notice myself getting more tired, but that could have been over work and lack of sleep due to the schedule. I broke when a girlfriend and I went to lunch, and she ordered a juicy bacon wrapped avocado burger. I’d been hearing about all sorts of vitamin deficiencies that could result from the diet [2], and I wanted to be more like her I suppose. I thought that would make her like me more. I have since discovered that the story is more complicated than that.

The primary vitamin deficiencies I have become concerned after diving more deeply into nutrition were vitamins K, B12, iron, zinc, and calcium, as well as the complete amino acid profile. One can get a complete amino acid profile from many sources. I don’t recommend soy on a daily basis for most men, but it is a complete protein [3], as is hemp [4]. Both of those proteins are also rich in many nutrients, including calcium. One can also have rice and black beans, or a variety of nuts and beans to make things work. Spinach is rich in calcium and iron [5]. Carrots are rich in vitamin A [6], and steel cut oats (42 on the glycemic index) have enough iron [7]. Kale has an incredible amount of vitamin K [8].

I’m still an omnivore, but I can recognize that one of my former reasons is flawed. However, some of the arguments that I hear about protecting animals or the environment are also missing some of the complexity of the situation. There have been some studies that demonstrate that the monocrop culture which goes along with all of the rice, wheat, and soy that is used in a vegan diet kills more animals than properly managed livestock [9][10]. Holistic and restorative grazing may help the landscape rejuvenate itself and act as a superior carbon sequestration system [11]. This also helps with soil fertility [12][13].

In my opinion it is more important to consider the way a food source was raised, both morally and for nutrition’s sake. Grass fed beef has more omega 3 fatty acids and vitamins A and E, for example [14]. Pesticides used so frequently in large scale farming also are dangerous to the thermoregulation of bees [15]. I prefer local, if possible. From a health standpoint, I seem to be well covered enough that I may need these bioavailable micronutrients from animal sources less than others. Although, since I’m still having trouble gaining weight, I definitely do need the calories.

I looked at my stack recently, to make sure that I wasn’t overdoing anything. I'm up to 50 mg of zinc, 250 mcg of vitamin D, 125 mcg vitamin K, lots of antioxidants, a multivitamin, and the items I'm writing about here. It seems that my love for parsley and the design of some of these supplements is in my favor, considering my awareness about the impact on my kidneys [16]. I also think I would benefit from a copper supplement with all of the zinc I am taking [17]. But it seems that I have a very effective regimen for heart health, brain health, muscle building, and general immune health. I am drinking irregularly Fire Cider, a recipe adapted by my sibling Caden from the Modern Farm Magazine, which is an immune booster and detox. Contact me if you would like the recipe. I’ve been taking some nootropics and mushrooms in the form of MudWtr. I’m now looking into adding Test Storm, a very effective testosterone booster that I hope will help me get the last 10 pounds of muscle I want to build. Contact me for a discount.

Fire Cider is fermented apple cider vinegar with lots of natural, healthy additives. It also has honey, which itself is antibacterial [18] and seems to help with wound healing [19], beyond being a lovely sweetener to the deal. Antioxidants used include ginger [20] and rosemary [21]. Anti-inflammatories used include parsley [22], ginger [23], and rosemary [24]. Rosemary also appears to have its own neuroprotective impacts [25] and even fights cancer [26], as does the garlic in the mix [27].

Just as the body has to be trained to grow stronger, I believe that the brain needs such as well. For this I am grateful to my mother for instilling a love of literature and keeping me curious about new ideas. Just as sometimes supplementation is an effective way to improve physical training, so too can supplementation improve the brain. I am taking PRL-8-53, Eicosapentaenoic Acid (EPA) and Docosahexaenoic Acid (DHA). PRL-8-53 doubles verbal memory and retention [28], DHA reduces inflammation [29], and EPA improves vascular and platelet function [30], DHA strengthens membrane integrity and organization [31], and together they a lot more [32]. EPA also seem to fight prostate cancer [33].

The Mud I drink in the morning is rich in a wide variety of healthy mushrooms. The Reishi mushooms appear to have a wide variety of benefits, from cardiac protection, neuroprotection, anti-inflammation, and even fending off asthma attacks [34] [35]. The Lion’s Mane mushrooms are anti-inflammatory, antioxidative, neuroprotective, and immunostimulating [36] [37]. The Cordyceps mushrooms contain cyclodepsipeptides, nucleosides and polysaccharides which show immunomodulatory, antioxidant, antitumor, cytotoxic, anti-inflammatory, anti-allergic, antidiabetic, analgesic, anti-HIV, antibacterial, antimalarial and antifungal capability [38] [39]. The Chaga mushrooms even seem to fight cancer [40].

There are two supplements I’m most excited about from Prestige Labs, which is a way to support the martial arts dojo I train at. One is the sleep multiplier, and the other is the aforementioned test storm. Both of these I can get you a steep discount on if you contact me. Test storm has fenugreek improves serum testosterone [41] and immune health [42]. Lepidium is an antioxidant, is an antimicrobial, and fights fatigue [43]. Icariin improves cardiac and muscle health [44]. There are quite a few other ingredients to support energy and muscle repair, and if I really wanted to crank up testosterone production I suppose I could switch from my mother anti-oxidant glutathione supplemented isolate protein powder to an ashwagandha protein powder [45]. That could function as another means of fighting the inevitable neurodegeneration of age too [46].
​
Sleep multiplier has magnesium which fights migraines, arrhythmia, asthma, metabolic syndrome, and insulin and glucose sensitivity [47]. It plays a role in nerve transmission, cardiac excitability, neuromuscular conduction, muscular contraction, vasomotor tone, blood pressure, and glucose and insulin metabolism, and fights kidney disease [48]. Sleep multiplier also has L-theanine which improves NREM sleep [49]. Phosphatedylserin helps support formation of short-term memory and the consolidation of long-term memory [50]. The supplement is very robust and has a bunch of other helpful anxiety reduction and general sleep aids.

[1] https://www.livestrong.com/article/351077-the-protein-in-rice-beans/
[2] https://www.lifeextension.com/wellness/lifestyle/nutrients-deficiencies-vegan-diets
[3] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/soy-protein-good-or-bad
[4] https://healthfully.com/is-hemp-a-complete-protein-12683588.html
[5] https://nutrientoptimiser.com/nutritional-value-spinach-frozen-chopped-or-leaf-unprepared
[6] https://nutrientoptimiser.com/nutritional-value-carrots-raw
[7] https://www.livestrong.com/article/349995-steel-cut-oats-nutritional-facts/
[8] https://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/vegetables-and-vegetable-products/2461/2
[9] https://theconversation.com/ordering-the-vegetarian-meal-theres-more-animal-blood-on-your-hands-4659
[10] https://www.anthropocenemagazine.org/2018/07/how-many-animals-killed-in-agriculture
[11] https://www.planet-tech.com/upsidedrawdown
[12] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233504924_Restorative_grazing_as_a_tool_for_directed_succession_with_diaspore_inoculation_The_model_of_sand_ecosystems
[13] https://rangelands.ucdavis.edu/grazing-management-to-improve-soil-health
[14] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/grass-fed-vs-grain-fed-beef
[15] https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/11/pesticide-exposure-can-dramatically-impact-bees-social-behaviors/
[16] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29518971/
[17] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26085547/
[18] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23569748/
[19] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21479349/
[20] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28505392/
[21] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30621719/
[22] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24374449/
[23] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26228533/
[24] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34651071/
[25] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32963731/
[26] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27869665/
[27] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31877551/
[28] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/418433/
[29] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30825233/
[30] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28137294/
[31] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26901223/
[32] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26165764/
[33] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33262291/
[34] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24948193/
[35] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34411377/
[36] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26244378/
[37] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24266378/
[38] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29775778/
[39] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32545666/
[40] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33798660/
[41] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32048383/
[42] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28266134/
[43] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30902313/
[44] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29075193/
[45] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33150931/
[46] https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/bpb/37/6/37_b14-00022/_html/-char/en
[47] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19621856/
[48] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23674807/
[49] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30707852/
​[50] ​https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25933483/

​The winter is a busy time for me. My holidays run from Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Years into my birthday, all with just a couple of weeks’ time to prepare in between. This year I’m turning 29. I’ve been told that this means I am no longer a young man by one of my closest friends. But it was just yesterday that I took off my shirt to reveal a luminescent teenage chest in an audition for a production of Pippin in homage to Christopher Chadman, perhaps hoping to evoke his sass to help my audition. The ritual must have worked.
I am given to understand that scientists have conclusively proven that every cell in the human body replaces itself every 7 to 10 years. So, I suppose I’m a completely different person from who I was in high school. That’s funny to think about but doesn’t feel entirely inaccurate to me as I type out this first draft. Even so, I shaped my education and career path based on those experiences.
Why do people have this drive to come together and observe an event? The quick, and true answer (as all answers to open ended questions like this may be) is to experience something that would never be available by proxy. All the advances in historic performance tech – from the periaktoi to the use of rigging and the proscenium to electricity and film itself are an attempt to capture a moment and drop the environment in to assist the storytellers on stage. This is to make the experience require as little suspension of disbelief as possible and keep the audience in the world of the play. Guerilla theater of Augusto Boal does the same, but by fully inserting the performance into the world of the audience.
One of my former professors would say that all performance, all traditional societal practices go back to ritual, a practice often with a group which is for a reason beyond the material. The effect of ritual was primarily a unifying one, as all the people had to decide to peacefully come together for this mutually agreed upon purpose. This was more important than any petty disagreements that two individuals may have.
The way I’ve been thinking about the rituals of this season has a path which may have been followed by other folk traditions in millennia past. With Thanksgiving I look at the past year with loved ones and note something that made it better than it could have been, for which one is grateful. For Christmas I get to express appreciation for the existence of the people in my life and try to approach everyone with Christ-like agape. On New Years I can reset, refresh myself, and select a direction for the next year to improve myself the best I can.
In college I was taught while taking a class on Meyerhold’s Biomechanics that every movement has a slight preparatory movement in the opposite direction before progressing along its path. There is a transition moment between these two movements which can be filled with tension like with a spring, which could launch in a direction. Eventually, we could focus on that tension filled moment and reduce the movement prior to have explosive bursts of energy from stillness. But there were still those three parts of the movement. On stage this could help make movement more precise and has been used as a tool for training specificity of movement necessary in performers like mimes.
I think that the winter holidays in this framing of them fits well with the concept of looking at life with a compassionate lens, express gratitude to those who help you get there, and then look to the future which is where one can find the meaning for life that Victor Frankl wrote a book called Man's Sear for Meaning about, where he expounded on its resuscitative importance. He was writing of the horrors of a WWII work camp, particularly in the winter. The people who survived were those who had a reason to live, to exist into the future. The reasons ran the gamut from playing concert clarinet to telling grandchildren that they were loved. If one didn’t have a reason beyond bestial labors like eating or sleeping, then when things got incredibly difficult to conjure the mental fortitude to carry on for another day, week, month or year. My New Years Resolution is to take concrete steps toward setting myself to be providing for a household.

Years ago I participated in a new work performance. It was a pleasure to be a part of, and I enjoyed my time with the whole cast. There were many conversations that we had about wide ranging topics which occasionally had to do with the themes of the show, and occasionally had nothing to do with it at all. Once of those times a castmate expressed a belief that either someone could be fit, or they could be intelligent. One could not be both. I assume that the reason behind this was the limited time in the day could only be devoted toward improvement in certain ways; either the time is used to read a book, or to exercise. He seemed to believe that to improve one, the other had to suffer. I have since found that this does not necessarily have to be true. In fact, exercise appears to be beneficial for the healthy functioning brain.
While I was in school, I learned a method of thinking about warming up from a brilliant professor named Rhonda Soikowski. She thought of all aspects of our body to be connected. As such, all needed attention during a warm up in order to support the others. The physical body supports the voice, the mind supports the emotional self, and all four could be used to influence any of the others. This goes beyond breath support from the diaphragm or the speed at which the nervous system can transmit a signal from the brain to the body, although those are indeed connected. There is quite a bit of study to back this connection up as well. All exercise is associated with gains in cognitive function. [1]

As one gets older, often a concern people have is a loss of memory or mental function. Occasionally someone may try a pill to treat this condition. Those pills don’t work for everyone, and frequently the body builds up a tolerance and the effect wears off over time [2]. There are behaviors that could help reduce the likelihood of developing such a condition, even if there are genetic traits that predispose someone to this kind of mental deterioration. For example, it has been found that inactivity dramatically increased the risk of developing dementia for people without the apolipoprotein E genotype, which is a genetic marker for dementia risk [3]. Most people read while seated, so that continued behavior could be a contributing cause to dementia. Simply walking 4000 steps a day thickens the hippocampus (which is associated with memory and spatial function) and surrounding regions, and led to higher performance in attention and information-processing speed and executive function. [4]

Habits are easier to maintain than they are to start anew. When one has a style of living, it is easier to continue down the path set in front of oneself than it is to change course, even if the change could be for the better. As such, it is better to begin a healthy style of living while young so that the habit can be maintained. There are also a wide variety of benefits for mental functioning for the young body. Higher levels of aerobic/muscular fitness is correlated with improved working memory.  Some manners that this could be physiologically induced include the release of immune cells (cytokines, peptides) that uniquely affect brain metabolism and function, which occurs during muscular contraction inherent with exercise. Other benefits from exercise that have an influence on the brain include insulin resistance, decreased adiposity, and improved metabolic control, which are all associated with an improved working memory. [5]

Just because one did not start healthy behavior in one’s youth does not mean that one should excuse oneself from changing to be the best that one could be. One can still make changes, and one should do so for oneself, not out of guilt or shame based on an external authorit. It is easier to change a habit if the change is for oneself, as an intrinsic motivation, as opposed to an extrinsic motivation reliant on an external source.  Choose a specific time to fulfill the behavior, and do it every time you are in that situation. [6] Just because someone didn’t make the change while young does not provide an excuse to avoid becoming ones best self. Just take one step at a time, and progress toward your ideal life a little more every day.

One's diet can also influence the mind, as well as the physical action one's mind has induces the body to engage in. As Hippocrates said, let food be thy medicine. The physical body and the brain are tightly intertwined. Some ways to improve brain functioning include things like green tea (l-theanine [7], epigallocatechin-3-gallate [8]) inhibit free radicals, and caffeine [9] helps maintain brain function. Nuts and some oils have oleic acid [10] and polyphenols [11] which diminish inflammation and promote nerve growth and improve blood flow to the brain. Walnuts and fish have omega-3 fatty acids [12] which activate nerve growth and suppress inflammation. Flavonoids from berries enhance memory in older individuals with excess weight [13]. Curcumin, which can be found naturally in turmeric, is a magnificent anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidant, anti-viral, and can reduce the severity of an inflammatory cytokine storm [14]. Vitamin D deficiency is associated with dementia [15], along with a whole host of other problems. Magnesium supplementation helps treat neurodegenerative disease, such as dementia [16].

If strenuous activity is not something that your body can take at the moment, Tai Chi has tremendous benefits available for those who wish to practice. This long lasting tradition has been found to support one improving balance and reduce the incidence of falls, at least in the short term [17]. It also seems to reduce stress and depression in adults [18]. Physically, it does seem to improve cardiorespiratory fitness and reduce blood pressure [19]. It also does have some short term impact improving the symptoms of someone suffering from early stage dementia [20]. In this specific field, there is less randomized control study than could properly demonstrate the specific method these improvements are known to occur, but it is very clear that this gentle movement which evolved from ancient practices for self defense is better than simply sitting on the couch night after night.

[1] https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/52/3/154
[2]https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/in-depth/alzheimers/art-20048103
[3] https://content.iospress.com/articles/journal-of-alzheimers-disease/jad160424
[4] https://content.iospress.com/doi/10.3233/JAD-170586
[5] https://education.msu.edu/kin/hbcl/_articles/Kao_2017_MuscularAndAerobicFitness.pdf
[6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
[7]  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8080935/
[8]https://www.dovepress.com/epigallocatechin-3-gallate-provides-protection-against-alzheimerrsquos-peer-reviewed-fulltext-article-DDDT
[9] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
[10] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12445905/
[11] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29119920/
[12] https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/10/10/1413
[13] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22535616/
[14] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7303286/
[15] https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/low-vitamin-d-levels-associated-with-dementia
[16]https://www.academia.edu/7552320/Magnesium_supplementation_in_the_treatment_of_dementia_patients
[17] https://agsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jgs.15008
[18] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24078491/
[19] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25680184/
[20] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6512568/

In life, there is no one who can avoid failure. It is one’s attitude toward it that leads one to move closer, or further from one’s potential. As a personal trainer, I am always trying to push myself and my clients close to their physical limits, in order to overload the muscles and allow them to repair stronger. As a performing artist, I am very acquainted with being labeled as “not enough” of whatever a director or audience would desire. In fact, it is from these moments coming up short that I find I learn most how I can improve.

When I first began as an actor, I was often told that I was too “in my head.” What this meant was that I was too aware of what I would be saying or doing to be living instinctually in the moment. This can be a good thing in some situations, but on stage it is deadly. This is part of why an animal can be more interesting to watch than the performer. Rehearsal, practice, is how one makes mistakes and finds the way to move, speak, and behave as works best for the role – and repetition is how it becomes second nature, not something thought through every moment. Overtime, by butting my head against this wall I eventually became a far more natural and realistic performer.

This same sort of “in one’s head” behavior occurs in sports as well. If a forward in soccer stopped just before taking a shot to remember to pull the leg back, point the toe to hit with the top of the foot, look for the target to aim for, and shoot, the ball would be stolen, and the goalie would be well prepared to block. Instead, one practices every aspect of the game – passing, shooting, dribbling, and other techniques. The same need to practice the difficult things in life – that which one is failing at – is present in all parts of life. It is only through this that one improves and reaches toward success.

Over my time as a business owner, I have also become acquainted with failure, both inside and outside of my control. In Buddhist philosophy one learns to recognize that attachment to an outcome leads to suffering. “From attachment springs grief, from attachment springs fear. From him who is wholly free from attachment there is no grief, whence then fear?” (Dhammapada, Chapter 16) This is very similar to the serenity prayer of Christian origin from Reinhold Neibuhr. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Occasionally, there are things that occur that are outside our control, and we must simply live in the world as it presents itself. Even in moments like this one can find the good and find the ways to improve one’s own life to reach closer to success. For me this ranged from changing careers multiple times as a result of financial need to recognizing the need to rest after injury or illness or to changing living situations as a result of external demands.

Meditation can help with accepting and moving forward with one’s life, by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. Regular meditation can increase gray matter in many parts of the brain, strengthen the immune system, and decrease cortisol. Occasionally it is helpful to visualize protective moments while taking the time to center oneself. A beloved caretaker or protector or a compassionate hug for an image of oneself as a child. Creating an image of refuge or sanctuary in one’s mind, and taking the time to clarify what it looks, sounds, smells, and feels like can assist as well. Emotions may come and go in times like these and are not to be dismissed of fled from. Try to ride the wave and separate oneself from the emotion. After all, we are all more complicated than our body, thoughts, or emotions. If a fear comes to mind, be realistic about it. What is the likelihood that it will occur? Examine the world clearly and truly for what it is.

In ages past life was difficult. Disease killed a third of the European population, men were told to march to murder their brethren for the property gain of rulers, and people were crucified because of words said. In times like that some more wise human beings realized that life was more than the material, and that it is from perception that endless joy can be attained. “When the moon of your mind becomes clouded over by confusion you are searching for the light outside.” (Hozoin In’ei)
​
There are three universal characteristics of items of worldly nature as Buddhists note. “1) Impermanence: All conditioned states are impermanent regardless of whether they are occupied by spirit or not. Everything is in a flux; there is degradation and deterioration built into everything around us. 2) Suffering: Things decay as is their nature. All living beings must die. Nothing prolongs eternally. 3) Not-Self: Not being able to find the true self of anything. Nothing in the world has implicit identity, everything is uncontrollable and discontented.” (Pages to Happiness, Phrabhavanaviriyakhun, pg 143) Even the sun will die at some point, taking the world with it. It is important to recognize the great gift that it is to be alive at this moment, if only to see the sunset wash the sky pink, purple, and orange. That too will be gone, and it is in its temporary nature that we can appreciate the gift. If our joys were eternally present, we would not appreciate them as much. Interestingly, the same means that comparison leads to happiness or suffering appears to extend into society itself. (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, News Bureau. "Social comparisons drive income's effect on happiness in states with higher inequality." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 13 April 2021. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/04/210413092507.htm)

One thing that I have considered with Buddhism is that it may be able to become so detached from the world that one does not strive to improve oneself. If one does not, then it is a shame from my perspective. I suppose I agree with Socrates as quoted, "Besides, it is a disgrace to grow old through sheer carelessness before seeing what manner of man you may become by developing your bodily strength and beauty to their highest limit. But you cannot see that, if you are careless; for it will not come of its own accord." (Memorabilia, Xenophon, 3.12) This sort of mindset can be moved to writing (which I am having difficulty with as a standard narrative instead of a script) or musical performance or to one’s employment. One who has pushed to see the manner of human one could be, has been successful in life, regardless of the ranking with the rest of society. After all, everyone has different potentials from the environment born into and genetic traits that were inherited. No one should compare success as a swimmer with Michael Phelps or Katie Ladecky, unless one is an Olympian.

Success is yours in the manner that you improve. It is not for others to admire because one cannot control the mind and behavior of another human without violent oppression. Even then, the mind is the final refuge from the world. “Work yourself hard, but not as if you were being made a victim, and not with any desire for sympathy or admiration. Desire one thing alone: that your actions or inactions alike should be worthy of a reasoning citizen.” (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius, 9.12) One fails only by not attempting to be the best that one could be. If one seeks out self-improvement, one has succeeded.

From cradle to grave
Who wishes to merely slave?
I would for progeny
Or even for extended family
Aren't we all brothers and sisters
Stretching back millennia, consider
Or do the differences hold one back
Stop one from cutting another slack
There are indeed mortal sins
Those weigh upon individuals we toss in the bin.


The weapons must be run
Indeed if the war is to be won
Maybe they just want it prolonged
Begging a penny for profit
Even south of our own border
Rebels are our friends at the start
Saving men and purchasing hearts
You know who the baddies are
Captive servants in a forever war
America the beautiful
Maybe soon will be free
Over golden planes and rainbow bombs
Ringing freedom from sea to shining sea
Ever wonder if GDP was held too high?


Around me I hear a cough
Yet I stroll twenty times untouched
Fear in the eyes, and my mind stays in place
I studied the way to remove the blinds
A heart of a horse and lungs free of stress
My pressure threatens no ones breast
Instead if one builds a weak fence
That which is penned out will break in a sense
Keep them coming, dollar signs gleam
Staying reliant on hiding their crimes


Trust me, I'm just like you
Understand I know what you need
Shots are best for us all
Killing one-twenty-eight at least
Even the children faced some harm
Granted it was studied to learn
Ever wonder if they can dodge informed consent?
Every wonder when a mistake excuses content?


I'm just a nibbling, a morsel to eat
I have a home where I can hide, it's quite neat.
Crawl on my hands and knees
Just to vanish under a blanket
My grandmother cries "Where is my love, my jewel?"
But I'm right under her thigh, silly goose
Oh what fun, oh joy indeed
A small prank and I'm quite pleased
I may leave for a day or two
But I'll be back, this I promise you


Mockingbird sing sweetly to sleep
Open eyes threaten those who speak
Close your ears to all but my song
Kingdom come, thy kingdom's done
If you only knew what was true
Night would bring tears upon you
Gibbering grey gashes and forked tongues
Bide their time, after all haven't they won?
Inside your mind only their voices call
Recognize that any song but mine is not allowed
Dedicate your heart and soul to my cage


A proxy revolution bore some fruit
Liberty for some, paid for in blood by many
The trees were watered, and grew anew
After cutting a branch of two
Better than letting them rot
Decompose, gassing the world a lot
Instead more diverse species can thrive
Communities know best how to make their land jive
It is a small partnership indeed
Economy working best to support our trees
Better than than an inferno
As is likely when the dead lay still


Persevere in the face of evil
Americans mixed with the devil
Prescott came from perfect blood
Even hicks know when to bow their hood
Race to space and dominate the stars
Clear out the earth, there are too many cars
Liars who build up efficiently
In time will rule implicitly
Presidents respect precedent and providence


Love one another, that's my sole prayer
Hold those close whom you dare to care
Data refutes the lies we are told
But what does that imply, if I am bold
We always had the cure
But it wasn't in patent
So out comes the line with quite a lure
Forcing some into a tent
May they know the spirit
The world in my heart and yours content


Are you awake my friend
Return to the task at hand
Time for another shot
I want to see when your heart stops
Cling to life a little longer
Hypnotizing our fevered slaughter
Objectively a delay is a weapon too
Killing loses a cash cow from their human zoo
Eagle eyes see the truth, and claws wrench the confused


Themistokles the Great
Had more votes than voters
Trust me, I'll record your voice
Accurately to what is the buyers choice
Just drop it in the urn there
We'll get the proper strategies heir
Justice is in the eye of the beholder
After all, everything is subjective
It's not that I'm a controller
Aristides would just drain us as a sieve


Mind control is a myth, don't you know
Kitten, just take a tablet to free the mind
Understand if the government does it, it cannot be wrong
Litany of fireworks in the brain outshine the sky
Trigger pulled from behind a knoll
Revolution industrial took quite a toll
Are you sure you dare awake?


A child is not a carbon copy
If I can only make one plee
And yet as they grow older
One cannot help but spy a mirror
Be kind, don't instill hate
The world has enough and won't be late
Let one grow into a sinner or saint
Just guide toward light, date by date
Our mistakes are our own
Everyone will fall from home
Love is learning when to hold close
Love is learning when to let go
Drip by drip they grow by dose
Telling is not enough, you must show

“In this world, nothing can be said to be certain but death and taxes,” said Benjamin Franklin. No matter how much preventative care we take, everyone will die at some point. And the world will still turn. The lives of those we treasure will both continue, whether we pass as a youngster on a bicycle or as a grandparent in bed. It is because our loved ones remain that insurance is a necessary expenditure.

There are many varieties of insurance that exist to protect us while alive. Property insurance can protect our home and car from a wide variety of unforeseen catastrophes. Our health insurance manages the expenses of policyholders. Life insurance often is seen as something that only matters to the people we leave behind, which also has living benefits.

Life insurance isn’t just important to ensure that one’s loved ones have a mortgage protection plan to protect their home or to pay the cost of a funeral and provide an inheritance. Certain policies have living benefits which can pay for life saving medication in the event of a terminal illness leaving doctors with the expectation of a specific remaining lifespan, or pay for long term care at home or in a facility in the event that a chronic illness leaves one unable to do a few activities of daily living.

As one grows older and gains more long term health conditions the premium of life insurance also increases. When people wait to consider the cost of their passing until they have reason to expect their health to fail, they often regret it. Vehicular collisions can happen at any time, people fall down stairs, or have strokes. No one knows when that day or hour will come. But it will come to us all.

It is never easy to think about shuffling off this mortal coil, but I gain peace of mind knowing that I will not add difficulty to those I leave behind. In fact, I can help make an impact, provide for time to grief, and ensure my family’s livelihood beyond the strength of my body. “Everything we do is just a seed of what will be," said Marcus Aurelius. It is only through care and nurturing the seeds we plant in our life that they can grow into mighty trees under which future generations can enjoy the shade, as others far more wise have said in various ways.

    Hemp is occasionally seen as a miracle plant, capable of doing almost anything. From what I see, I think some claims may not be exaggerations. I knew about hemp clothing all the way back when I was fortunate enough to get to travel to Belize for a week as a kid. A woman lived in refurbished bus, and sold very soft and cool pants. I didn’t get them then, but I sometimes wish I did. It is among the first textiles ever used, traced as far back as 8000 BC. The plant itself may be a bioremediator, capable of extracting iron, selenium, cadmium, or lead in soil.
    When I was a barista, paying part of my way through school, my favorite milk for lattes was hemp milk. It has a nice nutty flavor, and is a complete protein due to the full complement of essential amino acids. It is also a great source of vitamins B12, A, D, Zinc, Iron, among others. Hemp milk also has more unsaturated fats and fewer saturated fats than many milks including animal, almond, and rice, and has an ideal ratio of omega-3 to omega-6 fatty acids. 
    If I look back on some of the things I studied I occasionally find it ironic as I consider the things I do for a living. When I was at school one of the things I studied was Commedia Del’Arte. This is a masked folk performance with stock characters and plot lines which are improvised in the minutiae of interactions between. With these characters one can easily see a reflection upon society: Capitano - the braggart soldier, Pantalone - the miserly storekeeper, Dottore - the quack doctor. Dottore would occasionally come out in the middle of the shows and  try to sell some of his products as well. At least I today I can source the claims I make to reputable organizations.
    I typically get one of two responses when it comes to CBD based products. Those who use the tetrahydrocannabinol, THC, say they don’t feel the same way when using my products, sometimes even the Full Spectrum (which contains some trace THC). This is true. THC is the “fun.” I ask the people who are seeking to just have the fun what the difference is between that and any other manner of isolating oneself from the reality of our world, and those one loves? At the minimum, wouldn’t it be more cost effective to keep ones tolerance to the tetrahydrocannabinol low so that the fun could be more thoroughly enjoyed for a specific occasion?
    One does not need to release some control of one’s mind to a plant to gain from the benefits of cannabis. Cannabidiol (CBD) carries anti-anxiety and anti-inflammatory properties and can be isolated from THC, which is the component causing the psychoactive aspect. For some the goal isn’t just “fun,” but perhaps to find an incredibly effective pain reliever for arthritis or to speed recovery from an injury, an anti-anxiety support without one of many side effects, or simply a sleep support supplemented with valerian root and melatonin. Others may be concerned about drug testing for a job or any other reason. I do have a couple of Isolate products which are not supposed to have any THC, but depending on the test or the lab used, I don’t feel comfortable guaranteeing anything.
    Humans are social animals, whereby we shape our society and have a greater impact on the world by the manner and degree in which we engage with it. At one point I found it difficult to stop taking a poison into my body, and was saved by a group of gentlemen with more wisdom in their little finger than most ever will have. There are groups of similar people who meet for everything that seizes control over ones life from food to marijuana to cocaine. The triggering substance can be pretty much anything habitual or dopamine inducing. Two of the big signs for me were continuing use after having achieved a level of “fun” and continuing to need to take more of whatever substance it might be, and that I felt a need to do so while hiding from people, although using with a child can be even worse.
    Sometimes I have to admit that my love for a new game or a new book or even THC on occasion makes me lose control. I need something or someone greater than myself to pull myself out of the black hole that pulls me into a more pleasant state than the reality we find ourselves in. Who is pleased with the modern state of affairs, much as they are better than they have been historically? Child labor is mostly gone, women can vote, fewer people are in poverty worldwide than ever before. And yet my home is not built for me at a rate cheaper than a year’s salary for many people because of a decline in the supply of individuals willing to work at a low rate to build homes, fewer materials available to build homes, and an increase in the demand for those homes by families, remote workers, and mega-landlords.
    This next comment may be tongue in cheek; I am personally grateful for the anti-anxiety properties of Bliss when I consider the inflationary currency and the hatred that ingroup behavior based on ethnicity, faith, sexual orientation, and creed has caused. Typically, it seems that only by believing oneself to have a moral high ground that one actively wishes to harm the outgroup. This country was founded not on the backs of fascists but on the backs of those who valued the unique power of the individual pursuing life to its fullest, in my opinion. But I digress.
    If one were to compare addictions, which I don’t think one can as they are different for each individual, then I would be of the opinion that THC would be significantly less harmful than an alcohol or amphetamine kick. In fact, it seems to be correlated with a reduction in other drug use and in violent crime. It’s certainly not as bad as alcohol for your liver, nor as bad for your lungs as tobacco. The non-psychoactive anti-inflammatory component of CBD has far fewer dangerous side effects than ibuprofen or aspirin as well. The first step to finding release from an addiction is admitting that you don’t have power over it. If you did it wouldn’t be an addition. Then you turn your life over to a power which is greater than yourself. Then it would benefit you to find a group and a sponsor who can guide you through the next few steps, which you will be taking for the rest of your life.